The Way We Relax: A Pattern, A Habit, A Choice

I’ve noticed something about myself lately.

I struggle to sit and watch a film, a series or just chill and zone out in front of the TV, without wanting to do something else.

For a long time, I saw this as a flaw—confirmation that I struggle to "relax properly."

But let’s unpack that for a moment.

How many people can sit for two and a half hours without picking up their phone, fidgeting, or feeling the pull of distraction?

It’s not uncommon.

And yet, I told myself that I had a problem because my version of relaxation looked different from the norm.

Then I took a step back and looked at the bigger picture.

For years, my way of switching off after a long day was simple: finish work, pour a glass of wine, and settle in front of the TV for a few episodes of a series or a film.

That was my version of unwinding. A familiar routine that signalled the end of the day.

But my lifestyle has changed.

That glass of wine has been replaced with a walk. The TV time swapped for a book, a podcast, or learning something new.

My former version of relaxation—binge-watching a series, indulging in sweet treats, and enjoying that glass of wine—felt comforting at the time and I loved it.

And there’s nothing wrong with that. It served a purpose.

But as I’ve evolved, so has my definition of what relaxation looks like.

Now, I love catching a sunset, listening to uplifting music on a walk, sitting by the beach, or sharing an inspiring quote that resonates with me.

And then I noticed something interesting…

When the weather is bad and I can’t go for my walk, I feel restless.

At first, I found it frustrating. But then I realised: wasn’t this the same in my old routine?

If I couldn’t have my usual wind-down—if I ran out of wine, or something interrupted my evening TV session—I’d feel just as unsettled.

That’s when it hit me.

No matter what our methods of relaxation are, when they aren’t available—whether by choice or circumstance—it can make us feel restless.

And that’s normal.

Because relaxation isn’t just about the activity itself—it’s about the programming behind it.

It’s a habit, a signal, a way we transition from one state to another.

It becomes part of the rhythm of our lives.

The key here isn’t what we do to relax—it’s about recognising that our ways of unwinding are just patterns we’ve formed.

And that means they can shift, evolve, and be shaped in ways that serve us best.

So if you’ve ever felt restless after changing a habit—or if you’ve judged yourself for not relaxing in the "right" way—just know this:

There is no one way to unwind.

What works for you works for you. 

And if you ever feel the pull of restlessness when that routine isn’t available, maybe that’s not a problem—it’s just a moment of awareness, inviting you to pause and reflect.

How do you relax?

And have you ever noticed the patterns that shape the way you unwind?

Let me know in the comments—I’d love to hear your thoughts.

Remember, it's all about You.

Sue 💛