What If Success Isn’t What We Think It Is?

I opened LinkedIn recently for one very practical reason.

To cancel a free premium trial 🤣

That was it.

No intention to scroll. No plan to compare myself to anyone. No emotional preparation required.

And yet… within moments, there it was.

Post after post announcing promotions, launches, achievements, milestones, exciting new roles, business wins.

“I’m delighted to announce…”

“I’m thrilled to share…”

“Excited to begin my new role…”

And if I’m being honest? It got me, that familiar little wobble.

That quiet voice that starts whispering:

Everyone seems to be doing so well… what am I actually doing?

Maybe you’ve felt that too?

Not because you’re jealous.

Not because you’re not happy for other people.

But because comparison has a funny way of creeping in when we least expect it.

Especially when we’re in our own season of figuring things out.

And perhaps that’s exactly why I’m writing this.

I’m currently part of a coaching programme called Bold Moves, an amazing space that’s all about stretching ourselves, thinking differently, and yes… making bold moves 😅

So here I am, making one.

Because if this little wobble happened to me, I have a feeling I’m not the only one.

Anyway, back to the story.

The following day, something happened that completely shifted my perspective.

I bumped into someone I used to work with, someone in a senior leadership position, and we had a lovely catch-up.

Afterwards, he messaged me and said:

“Great to see you, you look so much at peace.”

And honestly?

That landed.

Because he didn’t say:

You look successful.

You look like you’re smashing it.

You look busy.

You look like you’ve made it.

He said: Peace.

And wow… that hit differently.

It made me stop and really think about what success actually means.

Because for a long time, I had the version of success that many people aspire to.

I had a senior leadership role.

Big responsibilities.

The house.

Family.

Partner.

The busy life.

From the outside, I probably looked like I had it all together.

And in many ways, I did.

I was capable.

I was high functioning.

I got things done.

People relied on me.

But underneath all of that?

I was surviving.

Running on autopilot.

Holding everything together.

Doing all the things.

Constantly moving. Constantly carrying. Constantly “on.”

And because I was functioning, no one would necessarily know.

That’s the thing about survival mode.

It can look a lot like success from the outside.

So when I found myself scrolling LinkedIn and feeling that little wobble, something else landed.

It wasn’t that everyone else was ahead.

It was that they were still there.

Still in that world.

Still climbing.

Still posting milestones.

Still chasing the next thing.

Still playing by the same rules.

And here’s the surprising bit…

When I really sat with that thought, I didn’t feel envy.

I felt relief.

Actual relief.

Because whilst I don’t have everything figured out right now, I know one thing for sure:

I don’t want to be back in that version of success.

Not if the cost is peace.

Now, before anyone reading this who loves LinkedIn comes for me 🤣 this isn’t a criticism of ambition, achievement, or celebrating success.

Not at all.

Some people absolutely love what they do, and that’s brilliant.

And the people posting those announcements?

They may also be feeling pressure, exhaustion, uncertainty, or simply celebrating something they’ve worked incredibly hard for.

This isn’t about judging anyone else.

It’s about noticing how easy it is to absorb someone else’s definition of success without ever questioning our own.

So let me ask you:

What does success actually mean to you?

Not the version you inherited.

Not the version social media rewards.

Not the version that sounds impressive when someone asks, “So what do you do?”

Your version.

Would it be:

More time?

More freedom?

Better health?

Financial security?

Calm?

Purpose?

Energy?

Peace?

Because if we never stop to redefine success for ourselves, we can spend years chasing something that doesn’t even fit.

This whole experience took me straight back to The PIER Method.

Pause

Notice the emotional wobble instead of pushing past it.

Inhale

Take in what genuinely nourishes you, not what feeds your comparison.

Exhale

Let go of the story that visible success automatically means meaningful success.

Realign

Come back to your own values. Your own truth. Your own definition.

Maybe you’re in a season of change too.

Maybe you’ve stepped away from something that looked successful on paper but didn’t feel good on the inside.

Maybe you’re quietly rebuilding something and it doesn’t yet have a neat title.

Maybe you’re the one posting the milestones while privately feeling the pressure that comes with them.

Wherever you are, perhaps this is your reminder:

Success doesn’t always look loud.

And some of the most meaningful wins are the ones no one sees.

Sleeping better.

Breathing more deeply.

Feeling lighter.

Trusting yourself again.

Or simply realising:

You no longer want what you once thought you did.

And honestly?

That’s growth too.

Awareness changes what’s possible, and it always starts with you. ✨

Sue 💛